


In Pieces

by Fixy



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Hospital, I need a hug, I've been devouring all your fics and I’m in love, I’ve not actually watched past season 2 YET dont come at me, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Memory Loss, Post Season 5, SuperCorp, descriptions of a car accident, first time supercorp writer, how do you guys tag your fics? I’m used to going absolutely ham, karlena, lil bit of smut, long time fic writer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:09:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29846142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fixy/pseuds/Fixy
Summary: Lena forgets everything. Everything but... her.Oranother memory loss au
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 42
Kudos: 555





	In Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello, long time fic writer first time supercorp writer! Love the fics in this fandom, thought I’d chuck something in too? 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

It’s... in pieces.

A dark sky. 

Bad weather, maybe rain.

The leather of a seat.

A crashing sound.

A jolt to the side.

Nothing, and then biting cold. On her cheeks, her hands.

Something wet. Warm.

Loud sounds. A scream? Flashing blue.

Nothing.

Bright, white lights. Hands on her body.

Fear.

Nothing.

——

There is nothing for a long, long time.

——

In the nothing, there are bits and pieces of… bits and pieces.

Not enough to be a  _ something _ .

Just pieces.

Sounds, like words, but muffled. Shapes of words that don’t fit, won’t fit.

Sometimes light, moving light, shadows dipping around her, but nothing in sight.

There are touches. Touches? A pressure, sometimes, on... maybe her hand, maybe her cheek. Definitely her hair. Touches, through her hair. Soft. Maybe stroking.

The stroking is the boldest thing in the nothingness. The stroking is the only thing that  _ is _ something in the nothingness.

She holds onto the stroking, holds onto  _ knowing _ .

Lena holds on.

——

Jesus Christ, it is fucking  _ bright _ .

Why is it so bright?

She wants to lift a hand to her face, but finds it stuck by her side. Nothing moves.

Her eyes aren’t even open.

Is she dreaming?

And can someone turn off the  _ damn lights? _

She feels her own lashes flutter, eyelids moving.

How deep asleep had she been? It feels impossible to open her eyes.

Lena doesn’t really believe in impossible; not in this case, anyway. It isn’t logical. It isn’t logical for it to be impossible to open her eyes.

So she keeps trying.

And she opens her eyes.

It  _ hurts _ .

That’s when she realises there’s something wrong.

It’s still really fucking bright, but her eyes start to slowly adjust. Slowly. Really slowly.

Another red flag.

Eventually things come into view and she sees she’s in a spacious room with metal units on the walls, large lights above her. She darts her eyes downwards, sees the shape of her legs beneath crisp sheets, surrounded by the bars of a bed. 

Then she hears the steady beeping.

And Lena realises she might be in a hospital.

Fear swells in her chest, rises in her stomach like bile. The light bouncing off the metal of the walls and the bright white of the sheets become oppressive, become almost blinding, so she slides her eyes to their corners to get away, to stop seeing, to remove herself in any way she possibly can from what she’s woken up to.

She’s about to cry out, but then she sees her.

A shape slumped in a chair by the bed, blonde hair, strong limbs, freckles dusted across gently flushed cheeks, in focus even through Lena’s haze.

“Kara?”

Her voice cracks, splinters painfully in her throat from the lack of use, but it’s there.

The shape in the chair jolts, and suddenly Lena is faced with blue eyes that act like an antidote to her building fear. The eyes are wide, shocked, bloodshot red yet bright above uncharacteristic shadows.

But still, it’s her.

“Kara.” Lena says again, voice still harsh in her mouth and in the room, just because she can, because she needs to.

“Lena.” It’s soft, desperate,  _ tired _ . “Finally.”

And then people are in the room, they’re rushing, rushing, and people are by her side and Kara is moving out of the way and people are touching her and pressing buttons and the haze thickens, the chaos of the room makes her head spin and all she wants is Kara, to just look at her for a moment, for a second, to just look at her again and, and, hold onto that, that image, that-

“Kara?”

She feels like a broken record but it’s the only word she can say, the only one she feels confident saying without it breaking apart and stuttering. Lena tries to look past the people who she now realises must be doctors and nurses, to find Kara again, but she only catches glimpses, only bits and pieces of her through the rush.

Lena closes her eyes against it.

If she can’t look at Kara, the only thing grounding her, the only thing stopping her from losing her mind, then she just won’t look.

——

Lena wakes up again, and Kara is there.

She’s pacing, and Lena watches her for a moment.

“Kar-” She manages to rasp out.

Kara jumps a little, then turns on her heel and makes her way quickly over to Lena.

“Is she okay?”

Who is she speaking to? Lena wants to answer, tries to, but a new voice comes in its place.

“She’s fine, Kara, just adjusting to being awake.”

Lena frowns as much as she can, tries to crane her neck to the left to stare at whoever this other woman is, answering for her, but it hurts to move her head.

She does it anyway.

“No, Lena, don’t do that. Stay still.” Kara says, but Lena ignores her, turns her head to look straight at  _ her _ defiantly instead, still frowning, and Kara sighs.

“Typical.” Kara murmurs quietly with a small shake of her head and an even smaller, sad smile. “Hi, Lena.”

Lena takes a deep breath in, tries to relish the slight burn of it, her ribs feeling almost rusted from lack of movement.

“Hi.” She manages to say.

It’s a victory.

It seems like Kara agrees, because her smile grows a little.

“How are you feeling?” Kara asks as Lena feels a strong but gentle hand on the side of her head.

“Thirsty.” Lena croaks. She allows the doctor to touch her, because she can see Kara, and that’s fine, that’s just fine. “Got any scotch?”

Kara’s laugh is like music. It’s like an alarm clock ringing, but beautiful, blissful, and Lena feels herself start to truly wake up.

“You’ve been in a coma for two weeks and the first thing you do is ask for scotch?”

It’s both a splash of ice cold water and a warm wave of comfort, the mixture of what has just been said and Kara’s amused and gentle voice, the familiarity of it.

The ice water wins out.

“Coma?” Lena breathes out.

The doctor comes into view, her dark brown eyes holding a sincere sort of care in them.

“Lena, you’ve been in a medically induced coma for just over two weeks now. Can you tell me what you remember?”

Medically induced coma. A bad accident?

“Um, I… pieces? I remember… a bang and, flashing lights, and something warm and thick…” Lena sees Kara look down and then away at that. “What happened?”

“Don’t worry; it’s typical to not remember the events immediately before this sort of trauma. You were in a car accident, Lena. The side of your car was hit by another that had spun out of control. You took a significant blow to the head, as well as breaking your collarbone, elbow, forearm and leg.”

Lena takes a deep, trembling breath in and holds it, trying to contain her panic.

“Your bones are healing fine, and the cuts and bruising will fade with only minimal scarring.” The doctor tells her gently, her voice calming, the perfect bedside manner. “We’re still monitoring your brain, but the fact that you’re having this conversation with us now is a very good sign. The induced coma did its job of letting your body heal.”

She lets out the breath in a relieved gasp, laughs a little, winces at the pain in her chest and her head.

“Fuck.” Lena rasps. “Okay, so… okay. God, I don’t even remember what happened, I don’t…”

She trails off. Something doesn’t feel right.

There’s something niggling at her. Or, not. Something missing? 

Lena frowns.

She doesn’t feel like talking to the doctor anymore, no matter how much she’s looking at Lena like her warm gaze is supposed to mean something to her.

“Do you think, um, do you think it would be okay if I-” she pauses, takes a breath, tries to clear the crackle from her throat with little success. “Can I just be alone with my girlfriend for a bit?”

She sees Kara freeze, leg no longer bouncing as it had been while Lena and the doctor spoke.

“Girlfriend?”

“Yes…” Lena says, scrunching her face up a little at Kara. “Why did you say it like that?”

Kara stares down at her, then stares at the doctor. 

“Alex, is this… does she-” Kara’s voice is bordering on urgent, and Lena looks over to the doctor to see her frowning in concern at her.

“Lena, can you tell me what happened on the day of the accident?”

“I…” Lena thinks, thinks back to before the nothingness. “I was… in a car?”

She catches Kara rolling her eyes despite the nerves pulling her face tight. 

“Okay,” the doctor says calmly, pressing a button by her bed before focussing fully on Lena again. “Can you tell me where to?”

“I…” Lena starts, thinks, stops, “I don’t remember.”

“That’s fine. Maybe you were heading to the office?”

“I... guess…” the off feeling is building fast in her chest.

The doctor stares at her, brow dipping in concern. 

“Where do you work, Lena?”

“I work at…” starts, thinks, stops, “at, um… I work at…”

Kara rubs a hand over her face.

“Okay.” The doctor nods, looks up as a man enters along with another woman in a white coat. “Lena, can you tell me your address? Even just the street name or apartment number will do fine.”

She starts.

Thinks.

Thinks.

_ Thinks _ .

Stops.

“Fuck, I… I don’t…” it’s frantic, the panic is sudden and frantic and  _ she _ is frantic, and she’s reaching bandaged arms out, trying to push herself up, “I don’t remember, I can’t- What the fuck, I- I don’t remember anything, I don’t remember  _ anything _ , I-”

The doctor is touching her head and the woman in the white coat is writing something down and the man is by Lena’s side and he’s prepping something, attaching a bag linked to a tube in her arm, and Lena turns her head to Kara, finds her across the room, finds her stepping away.

“I remember Kara.” Lena says desperately, raw throat be damned, “I remember her, I- I remember you, Kara. I- what are you doing?” She demands of the man and the doctor suddenly, trying to yank her arm away from them and there’s a pinch in her wrist and it hurts, fuck it really hurts, and her head is pounding and her blood is pounding and Kara is disappearing, fading, stepping away.

“I remember…”

Nothingness greets her again like an unwanted guest, making itself at home behind her eyelids.

——

There’s a tree.

It’s huge.

It’s a fucking  _ huge _ tree.

It’s beautiful, with a thick trunk and branches heavy with leaves letting dappled sunlight through to dot the grassy earth with golden light.

Lena feels the bark of the trunk against her back and the weight of a head in her lap. 

She looks down at Kara, whose face is turned up to her, eyes closed, soft expression giving her a serene look in the glow of sunlight. 

“You look perfect.”

Kara smiles at Lena’s words and blinks her eyes open behind her glasses. She squints in the light and her eyes turn the most delicate sky blue, flecked with gold, framed by those curly eyelashes that flutter so beautiful as Lena’s fingers card through blonde hair. 

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” Kara murmurs happily. “Even with that twig in your hair.”

Len scoffs a laugh and frowns a little, reaching up and finding the offending stick tangled in her straight locks. 

“I don’t… how did it even  _ get _ there?”

“Your hair is magic.” Kara says simply. “So dark and silky. It draws things in.”

“Like it drew you in?”

Kara sighs a little, grins. 

“Just like it drew me in.”

It’s quiet for a moment, only the sound of rustling leaves caught in a summer breeze and the chirp of birds to accompany their steady breathing. 

“That, and your sweet little butt.”

Kara can’t get it out without her cheeks turning rosy around the widest grin, because she’s still, after everything, unable to make a comment about Lena’s ass without getting a little embarrassed, and Lena throws her head back to laugh, hitting it accidentally on the tree, and then Kara is laughing too.

——

The nothingness is different this time. 

It’s broken. 

There are memories. 

Few memories, but they’re there, and they all share one persistent factor. 

Kara. 

When Lena opens her eyes again it feels different. Less thick, less hazy. A little easier, like waking up after a particularly deep sleep. 

And then she remembers. 

Remembers that she  _ doesn’t _ remember. 

When she’s seen this sort of thing in movies, the ones Kara makes her watch during Lena’s ‘moviecations’, Kara calls them, the people always seem sort of at peace that they don’t remember. Maybe because they don’t know what they’re missing, they don’t know what to be upset about. 

But Lena knows that those things she can’t remember must exist. She must’ve had a job, she must’ve had a family.  _ Has _ a family? She knows she’s an adult woman, she knows exactly who she is, just… none of the external details. 

Except for Kara. 

But she doesn’t… she doesn’t remember why she knows Kara. Just that they are each other’s. 

Or, she’s pretty certain they are. 

Lena turns her head to the side and finds it’s less painful to do so, but still uncomfortable. She feels less padded. 

There’s no one in the chair. 

Lena lifts up a hand gingerly, feels an ache in her arm and sees thick adhesive squares covering parts of her skin. She glances down at the other arm and sees it’s in a cast, like the kind children wear after falling off the jungle gym at school. Did she ever break her arm as a child? Did the other kids sign her cast?

She brings the free arm up and touches her head, flinching a little at the sting the contact brings. There’s a bandage there too, and tape. A head wound? That would explain the memory loss. Blows to the head can cause trauma which can lead to loss of memory. Usually temporary, and usually lasting longer the more serious the head injury. 

Will it be temporary for Lena?

She drops her hand and looks around the room, takes in her surroundings. The metallic units are still there, of course, but this time she notices the glass wall to her right, the people in dark clothing moving around beyond it, just visible through frosted glass. 

There’s a small table in the corner near her head with a crystal vase of flowers and a floating balloon with an obnoxious ‘feel better’ message printed across it. There are cards on the table too, and what looks like a small teddy bear wearing a blue suit and a red cape. 

She blinks back tears as she realises she has no idea who any of them could be from. Friends? Family? She has no clue. Does she even have anyone?

She only knows Kara.

The only solid image in the cloudy haze of her mind. 

It’s so strange, having no memory. Her head feels empty, new, retaining all present details with startling clarity as if it now has room for more. 

There are Kara memories, though. 

They’re not dreams. She knows they’re real, can remember them in exact detail. 

Lena lets herself fall into them, holding onto the only things she knows to be true. 

——

“Stop touching the chicken.”

Lena watches as Kara jerks her hand back like it’s been slapped. 

“I’m helping!” Kara insists. “Let me help.”

“No, you’ll ruin it.” Lena argues with a small shake of her head. “You are not allowed to touch the food.”

“Just let me do something? Something easy. I’ll chop the potatoes? You know I can do it in half a second flat.”

“Yeah, and it took you  _ how long _ to admit that to me?”

Kara scowls playfully then moves into Lena’s space between her hips and the counter, placing a hand over Lena’s heart gently. 

She cups Lena’s cheek with the other hand. 

“You know I’m still sorry about that, right?”

Lena rolls her eyes, turns her head to kiss Kara’s palm. 

“I know. And I’m still sorry about… after”

“I know.” Kara says with a smile. She presses her lips to Lena’s once, quickly. “Now, let me chop the potatoes.”

“No.” 

——

There’s a film of static over that memory. Lena doesn’t know why she or Kara said some of the things they said. External reasons must have caused them, but Lena doesn’t recall the externals. Just Kara. 

——

Kara is there when she wakes up again. 

“Hey, Lena.”

She stares at her for a moment, takes in blonde hair, worried eyes, soft blue button up. Lena sighs. 

“What’s going on, Kara? What… I don’t even know where to start.”

Kara nods slowly. 

“I can help, if you want. You can ask me questions. Alex told me it could help jog your memory.”

“Alex?”

Something like pain flashes in Kara’s eyes. 

“Um, your doctor. My sister. Your friend.”

Lena nods, but she really only has one question she wants the answer to. 

“Before, when you reacted that way to me calling you my girlfriend.” Lena takes a deep breath in, blows it out carefully. “Why? I mean, why did you...”

Kara studies Lena as she trails off, then looks down, touches one of the buttons on her shirt. When she glances back up, her eyes are glassy. 

“Because I’m not your girlfriend, Lena.”

It doesn’t make sense. 

“Of course you are.” Lena frowns. “It’s… it’s the only thing I remember. We’re together. I… I remember dates, and, and trips, and… sometimes they’re fuzzy, like I’m  _ missing _ something  _ else _ , but they’re real.”

With a sigh, Kara rubs a hand across her forehead. 

“They’re real.” Kara agrees, but her smile is strained. 

“Then I don’t understand.” Lena chuckles awkwardly, humourlessly. “I don’t get it.”

Kara looks like she’d rather be talking about anything else, eyes darting around the room uncomfortably before landing back on Lena with melancholy Lena finds sort of familiar on Kara, somehow. 

“We’re not together anymore, Lena.”

Silence. 

Lena doesn’t believe it. 

Their togetherness is the only thing that’s  _ real _ . 

“What? That’s… no, that doesn’t make sense. Why would we not be together anymore?”

With shining eyes, Kara stands up. 

“You ended things. Six months ago.” Kara stares at her shoes, scuffs a toe along the floor. “I’m gonna go, I have work and, stuff. I’ll be back again, at some point. I just… didn’t want you to wake up alone again.”

And then Kara is gone, gone before Lena can claw her way through the swamp of emotions thickening in her throat to say ‘wait’. 

——

“Kiss me.”

“No, you taste like fancy wine.”

“You love fancy wine.”

“No I don’t, that stuff does nothing for me!”

“Okay, but you love me.”

Kara sighs, looks down at the form of a drunk and affectionate Lena snuggled into her side. 

“Yeah, I do love you, don’t I. Fine, come here.”

Lena is sloppy in her giddiness, almost knocking their heads together as she leans into Kara who giggles against the brunette’s lips. 

“You’re a hot mess.”

“I’m your hot mess.” Lena whispers with a smile. 

And then they’re kissing. 

Despite the alcohol in Lena’s blood, it’s a smooth kiss, an easy one, perfected with practice over time. When they pull apart Kara is rewarded with a dimpled drunken smile. 

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it.”

Kara laughs and shakes her head, hair scrunching against the pillow. She runs her fingers through dark silky strands and tucks them behind Lena’s ears. 

“What did I do to deserve a weirdo like you?”

Lena grins, then drops her face down again, lips hovering a breath away from Kara’s own. 

“You believed in me.” Lena murmurs. “That’s what.”

——

The first doctor, the one Kara calls Alex, is especially patient with Lena, always with a sad kind of hope in deep brown eyes. 

She gives Lena a notepad. 

Each page is lined on one side and blank on the other, and she encourages Lena to write and draw what she knows. 

She spends a couple of desperate days covering pages in harsh scribbles and crossed out sentences that make no sense to her. The doctor, Kara’s sister, Lena’s friend, whoever, tells her that she’s doing well even if it doesn’t seem like it. She tells her the likelihood that it’ll come back to her is high, they just don’t know when it will happen. 

Lena is angry and frustrated, but she only flings the pad across the room twice. 

Kara comes to see her on the third day, and Lena has to try not to snap at her. 

“You’re being cold, Lena.” Kara says with a weary sigh. 

“I’m sorry.” Lena says, squeezing her eyes shut. “I just… my brain thinks we’re still… it’s annoyed at you for not being here all the time. It thinks you should be. But I know… I know we’re not… we’re not-”

“It’s okay. I get it.” Kara says softly. 

Lena opens her eyes again and looks at Kara’s tired expression. 

“Why do you visit me?”

Kara pulls at a thread on her sleeve. 

“Because you remember me. I think you need me here.”

It’s true. She does. Kara’s presence grounds her, stops her from losing it completely and floating away. 

“But… you don’t have to be. I know this can’t be fun for you. If I did what I did, then you shouldn’t feel like you have to be here.”

Kara shakes her head and gives Lena a rueful smile. 

“It’s fine. It’s the right thing to do. Anyway, how’s the notepad working out?”

“Bad.” Lena huffs, eyeing the pad unhappily. “Nothing makes sense. It’s just… stupid stuff, I don’t know.”

“Can you draw something now? For me?”

“You know I can’t draw.”

“So you remember  _ that _ .” Kara’s smile is genuine for the first time, and Lena chuckles in both relief and amusement. 

“Mm, no, I cannot draw.” Lena agrees. “But I can doodle. What do you, um… what do you want me to draw?”

“Something you remember about us.” Kara suggests. “Maybe not a solid memory. Like… try something you remember only little pieces of.”

Lena stares at the blank page for a long time. 

Then she picks up a pen. 

——

It’s vague. This memory isn’t full, and this one  _ does _ feel like a half forgotten dream, but it still stands out as real to Lena. 

She and Kara are in a hallway. They’re looking at each other. Something is said, and it’s all desperate and sad but there’s a vast, simmering anger beneath the surface.

She has a hazy recollection of a beautiful dress, elegant earrings. She sort of recalls tears on Kara’s cheeks, so startlingly painful to see, and yet. And  _ yet _ . 

That simmering anger. 

_ Please say something.  _

Lena can’t make much sense of it. 

But she remembers the colours. 

Beige with golden trim, like grand walls. Then lilac, pale lilac, Kara is sweet lilac. Burgundy on herself, maybe a dress. 

Then, red.

Dark. Vivid. 

But not visually. 

Like… anger. Red like  _ anger _ . The simmering anger from before overflowing into betrayal, covering everything. 

And all of a sudden, Lena remembers the pain. 

——

“Fuck.” Lena breathes out harshly. 

She drops the pen and looks at the page, looks at the red ink spread across it, the lilac and beige and gold lost underneath it. 

She looks at Kara only to find her smiling in slight alarm, eyebrows raised. 

“You know, I think I see what you are remembering.”

Lena gapes for a second. 

“What the hell happened?” Lena asks in a rush. “Why do I remember so much… pain? Was one of us hurt?”

“Technically, yes,” and Kara is awkwardly chuckling now, “very hurt. And then some. It went on for, um, a bit.”

When she doesn’t continue, Lena waves an exasperated hand at her. 

“So are you gonna tell me, or?”

Kara’s smile dims. 

“I’m really not sure this is a memory you want to remember right now. Alex- your doctor says to focus on  _ good _ memories. Maybe… maybe we’ll talk about this one another time.”

She gives Lena no room to argue, reaching over and pulling the pad from her, flipping to a clean page. When Lena tries to question her she is shushed and immediately spoken over, Kara telling her to write down a solid memory instead, something with dialogue and images and thoughts. 

And Kara looks almost happy for the first time as she grabs more colouring pens for her, chatting brightly about how nice the felt tips are that Lena has been given. 

So Lena does as she’s told, and draws the tree. 

——

Sometimes, memories come to her in dreams. 

——

“Harder, Kara.”

Kara’s long fingers thrust deeper. Lena feels them brush that patch inside of her and she arches her back, fingers clutching desperately in messy blonde hair. 

“Don’t stop,  _ don’t stop. _ ”

She feels Kara’s other hand on her thigh, nails digging into her skin with a stinging bite while her tongue works at Lena’s clit, fingers pumping and bringing Lena closer and closer and closer and-

“Fuck, Kara,  _ fuck- _ ”

She trails off into a high moan as she comes, a fever rushing through her as she feels liquid heat slip around Kara’s fingers which still move, still drag through every tremor, every last thread of pleasure pulled from between Lena’s legs as she shakes and holds her breath. 

It leaves her in a great gasping sigh when she finally comes down. Blinking through the haze, Lena starts to recognise the feeling of gentle kisses on her thigh. 

When she opens her eyes and looks down, Kara is nuzzling at the skin she’d been clenching. 

“I hurt you.” She mumbles sadly into Lena’s thigh. 

“What? No you didn’t.” Lena says, still breathless. “What do you mean?”

Kara moves slightly and Lena can see it now, four crescent moons on her thigh, glittering red. 

“Oh,” Lena sighs, carding her fingers carefully through blonde waves. “I barely even felt it, darling, I swear. It’s okay.”

Kara leaves one last kiss there before sliding back up Lena’s body. 

“Sorry,” the blonde mumbles against Lena’s neck, hovering over the freckle there, “you just make me so… hot.”

Lena feels a slickness against her hip where Kara’s naked body touches hers. It flushes Lena with heat all over again, the bold words from Kara’s lips fueling the fire. She rolls onto her side to face her. 

Lena’s lips are immediately caught and they’re kissing, all sliding tongues and nipping teeth and heat. Lena knots her fingers back into blonde hair. 

“Let me touch you again.” Lena mumbles into the kiss. 

Kara groans, and nods. She gasps at the touch between her legs and Lena drinks in the sound, the look of ecstasy on Kara’s face. 

“You’re my everything.” Lena whispers. “I want to touch you forever.”

Kara manages a blinding smile even as her cheeks turn pink with need. 

“I want that too.”

——

Lena wakes with a start and Kara is there, looking like she’s just sat down. 

“Oh, hey,” she says, but Lena is too busy trying to shake off the dream to reply. 

Kara looks at her. 

“Are you okay? You're all flushed.”

“I’m fine.” Lena says hurriedly, trying to sit up, looking away from Kara. “I’m fine.”

But the blonde ducks over the bed to stare in concern at Lena who desperately tries not to look at her, because Kara  _ knows _ what she looks like when she’s turned on, and everything is already such a fucking mess that this can only make things worse. 

But it’s too late. 

“Oh.” Kara says in surprise, before her face breaks out into a playful smirk. “ _ Oh _ .”

“Shut up.” Lena mumbles, running fingers through her hair in an attempt to neaten it. “Just don’t.”

“And in a  _ hospital bed _ , Lena. Tut tut.”

Lena grumbles a little and stares Kara down until the blonde lifts both hands in surrender. 

“It’s not like I can control when I have a d- a dream.” Lena stumbles over the word ‘dirty’. “Besides, I’m pretty sure it was a memory anyway. So, that’s good.”

“That  _ is _ good,” Kara nods, but then the smirk is back and she winks exaggeratedly in just the  _ nerdiest _ way as she adds “ _ very _ good.” 

Lena sighs in exasperation, and Kara seems to take pity on her. 

“Okay, I’ll stop.” Kara says, trying to keep the smile off her face. “Especially as you can’t... you know.”

Lena says nothing, just deadpans Kara who shrugs, eyes wide. 

“What? You can’t!”

“Did you want something,” Lena says coolly, “or did come to remind me of the awful situation I’m in?”

Kara’s smile disappears. 

“Okay, well if you’re going to be like that.” 

When Kara stands up, Lena’s hand shoots out to hold her wrist. 

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” She says apologetically. “Please stay.”

Something passes over Kara’s face. 

It looks like hurt. Recognition. Then it’s gone as she sighs and sits back down. 

It’s silent for a bit, Kara staring through the glass wall of this weird hospital and Lena staring at Kara.

“Why did I end things?”

Kara jerks her head round and regards Lena with apprehensive eyes. 

“What?”

Lena shrugs, picks at a thread on the hem of her bed sheet, bundled slightly in her lap. 

“Why did I end things? Why did I break us up? From what I remember, we seemed so… happy.”

Kara looks away, worries her bottom lip between her teeth. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay.” Lena makes herself say with a small nod. “That’s fine. I just… don’t get it. I don’t know why I did it. But… okay.”

Kara sighs, but says nothing. 

“In my dream,” Lena starts, and Kara looks wary, “I called you my everything.”

Kara’s eyes slip shut. Lena watches her swallow. 

“Yes, you… used to call me that when we, um... Yeah.”

“Hmm.” Lena hums thoughtfully. She stares at Kara, stares as sky blue eyes open and look fixedly at the wall. “So then why would I… Did  _ you _ do something?”

“What?”

Kara is looking at her now, frowning, eyes narrowed. Lena lifts one shoulder in a shrug. 

“I mean, I don’t know, did  _ you _ do something that made me break up with you? Because from what I can remember-”

“Well, you  _ can’t _ remember.” Kara huffs, scowling as she gets up, grabs her jacket, spins on the spot to face Lena. “You don’t remember. You don’t remember what happened, what you did, what you said-”

Kara cuts herself off as her voice shakes. She takes a steadying breath, but it doesn’t seem to help. 

“I’m going. I don’t know if I’ll come back again. This is… too hard.”

“No, no,” Lena says desperately, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that, I just… I can’t-”

“Remember, I know!” Kara snaps in the small room before clearing her throat and lowering her voice. “But what happened, happened. You ended things. A bump to the head doesn’t change that, so I’m gonna go. I don't even know why I started visiting in the first place.”

“Please don’t leave.” Lena gasps, reaching out for Kara. “I can’t do this without you, you’re the only… you’re the only thing that’s real. Please don’t leave me.”

A tear slips down Kara’s cheek. She rubs at it messily. 

“I have to look after myself too, Lena.” She says sadly, anger gone from her voice and leaving only hurt in its place. “That’s something  _ you _ taught me. I’m sorry, I know this whole thing is difficult for you, but I can’t… I can’t be here anymore. It hurts me, too.”

“Please, Kara,” Lena breathes, “please don’t leave me.”

Her hand goes to take Kara’s, but the blonde tugs it away. 

“That’s exactly what I said to you, and you left anyway.”

And then Kara is gone, and Lena is alone. 

——

No more new memories come after that. 

——

Lena has been awake for a week and a half. 

A man named Winn comes to see her. 

He’s a little awkward and makes a lot of jokes that don’t land, but Lena doesn’t know if that’s because of the situation or because he’s like that all the time. 

He answers some of her questions. 

She’s smart. She has multiple degrees in engineering and various sciences. She’s designed tech beyond what most people could even dream of, and put it to good use. Aliens are real, apparently, and she does a lot to protect them. She’s less surprised at their existence and more surprised that she’s able to help them. 

She does have family, but Winn does little quotations with his fingers when he says it. He tells Lena that she says they’re not her family. Her family are her friends, he says, which includes him, Alex, and other names she scribbles down to remember. 

When she asks why her family  _ aren’t _ her family, he takes her hand and squeezes it. 

“They’re not good people,” he says, “but you, Lena,  _ you _ are good people.”

She’s not allowed to know the details of why they’re not good people.

He tells her that she’s the CEO of a multi-billion dollar corporation called ‘L-Corp’, and she’s damn good at her job. She took over from her brother after he did something terrible  _ ‘like, really horrifying, we won’t talk about that right now, total bummer’ _ , and she refuses to let anyone tell her what to do with her company and its direction. 

Apparently, she’s repeatedly found herself in a  _ lot _ of danger. 

She’s not allowed to know any of those details either. 

“So, I’m kind of a rebel?” She ventures, sort of hopeful.

Winn smiles and wiggles his eyebrows. 

“ _ Definitely _ a rebel.” He nods. 

Lena grins. 

“Good.”

Winn tells Lena that the two of them even saved a whole crowd of people once, building a black body field generator under a stage. Apparently it disabled the attackers’ weapons, enabling Supergirl to capture them. 

“Who’s Supergirl?”

Winn gapes for a moment, eyes blinking quickly. 

“Uh…” he starts, then clears his throat, “um… huh?”

“Who is Supergirl?” Lena repeats. “Or, _what_ _is_ a Supergirl? Is it, like, the name of a police weapon or something?”

Winn stares for a few more moments before laughing abruptly, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes and then smiling at Lena in a way that is entirely forced. 

“Wow, okay, that’s rough,” he says. “Supergirl is National City’s superhero. She’s an alien, but she looks like us. She has superpowers and saves the day and stuff, you know, kicks ass, rescues people, wears a suit and cape. Look, the bear I got you is dressed like her!” He points cheerfully to the bear on the table. 

“Oh, well, that’s amazing.” Lena says honestly. “It’s great the city has her.” She smiles as Winn nods happily. “So. Who is she?”

Winn’s stops nodding. 

“I, uh, I can’t tell you anything about that, I’m afraid. I'd get into a lot of… trouble.”

“You’d get into trouble for telling me who Supergirl is?” Lena questions with raised eyebrows. 

“Mhm,” he hums with a grimace, “J’onn would probably mind-kick my ass before I could blink.” 

“Who’s J’onn? And, mind-kick? What does that mean?” 

Winn gapes again before giving himself a slap to the cheek and standing up, spreading his hands wide in a helpless shrug at Lena. 

“No details,” Lena sighs in defeat, “right.”

Lena finds the quiet few minutes that follow comfortable, but Winn is clearly anxious, fidgeting. 

“Is there anything else you remember?” 

Lena is sitting up in her hospital bed, wearing a pair of soft cotton pyjamas that Kara had brought her three days after she woke up, a favourite pair of Lena’s apparently. They’ve got little planets on them. Lena wonders if she likes space. 

“Yeah,” Lena nods, staring at her hands in her lap. “I remember being in love.”

“Oh,” Winn blinks, surprised, “with who?”

Lena looks at him, watches him sip lukewarm coffee from a paper cup. 

“Kara.”

Lena jumps as Winn spits the coffee back out. 

She jumps again when he splutters out a laugh. 

“What?” She asks, a little put out. “What’s funny?”

“Nothing,” Winn says through his hand, wiping coffee from his chin. “I… can’t believe I didn’t see it. Okay. Wow.”

“Why is that ‘wow’?” Lena asks, getting a little frustrated at once again not knowing something that someone else does. “We were together, why wouldn’t I love her?”

Winn stops laughing. 

“You were what?”

“Together.” Lena says slowly. “You know? Partners? Girlfriends? I think we...” she trails off, thinking hard, but stops once she sees how pale Winn has gone. “Winn, what?”

“Nothing.” He says, clearing his throat. “I just… I didn’t know you two were… This explains so much. Jeez, maybe Kara  _ can _ be sneaky…” He stares down at Lena, confused. “But, the Supergirl thing-”

Lena is more than just a little frustrated now as she frowns at the man.

“What Supergirl thing?” Lena asks, voice rising enough to draw attention beyond the glass wall, “ _ who _ is Supergirl? And what does it have to do with Kara and I?”

Winn sighs in sympathy, his hands shoved into his pockets as he shrugs. 

“I’m sorry I can’t tell you more, Lena, I really am. But I made a promise.”

“Then break it.” She growls. 

Winn shakes his head, a fond expression on his face. 

“You really are a rebel.” He says. “I’m glad you’re on our side, Lena.”

Lena stares him down, but he doesn’t budge on the matter. After a short silence, he bends down and picks up his jacket. 

“Lena, maybe don’t mention, uh, dating Kara to anyone else that comes in, alright? Not without talking to Kara about it first.”

Lena doesn’t say anything else after that. She has nothing left  _ to _ say, nothing more to talk about as she sits in the bright metallic room while completely in the dark. Winn leaves shortly after, gives her his number, tells her to call if she has any other questions that aren’t to do with Supergirl. 

But Lena doesn’t call. 

——

The doctors won’t let her leave due to the amount she can’t remember. 

It’s not safe, they tell her. 

She’s stuck there for a little longer, and if her memory doesn’t return, there’s a chance she’ll be living here, wherever here is, until it does.  _ If _ it does. 

Lena begs her own brain to just fucking  _ work _ . 

——

“You can’t change me, Lena!”

Kara is shouting. 

“I’m not trying to!”

So is Lena. 

“Then why are you trying to make me into something I’m not?”

Lena throws her hands in the air. 

“I’m not, I would  _ never _ ! I just want you to stop risking your life so flippantly!  _ Our _ life.” 

“I’m doing my job. I’m doing what needs to be done to _protect_ people, to _protect_ _this_ _city_.”

“But do you have to throw yourself so headfirst into it?” Lena begs. “Can’t you wait for help? Or at least take a second to  _ prepare  _ for the dangers you’re going to face? Is our life together not enough to make you want to come out alive?” 

“Lena, you know that’s not it!” Kara groans in exasperation, fingers dragging tiredly through blonde hair. “But I need to help, I need to _ be there  _ for them.” 

“You don’t want to be here for me? For us?”

Kara shakes her head, eyes turning glassy. 

“Don’t do that, don’t turn it around like that. You are my  _ world _ , Lena.”

“I cannot keep living not knowing if you’ll come home after some fight when you could have waited just a  _ minute _ more for backup or the right tech.” Lena bites out. “I can’t deal with you putting the city’s safety above your own anymore. I’m tired of my girlfriend not protecting  _ herself _ .”

“What, so you’re gonna leave because I choose to do the right thing?” Kara says simply, all emotion drained from her voice, leaving it dull. “And here I thought you wanted to distance yourself from the Luthor name.”

Lena watches as regret immediately twitches in the muscles of Kara’s jaw, in the fidget of her fingers. Lena swallows down the sting of the comment. 

“You need to watch it.” Lena tells Kara coolly, starting to walk away. “Or one of these days I won’t be here when you come back from saving the world.”

——

“I don’t really want to be here, Alex.”

Muffled voices, distorted through sleep. 

“I know, I get it, but… it’s not looking good, Kara. We think your presence might help.”

“Why?”

Voices getting clearer. Lena feels her eyelids twitch. 

“Lena has barely spoken since you were last here. She’s not making an effort to recall anything. She’s getting a little...  _ difficult _ to work with. She threw her pudding at Vasquez!”

Lena is half awake now. 

She wants to kick the doctor. 

She keeps her eyes closed. 

“Okay, okay, fine. But I won’t be coming again after today, alright?”

“Yeah, sure, okay.”

There’s muffled footsteps as the doctor leaves the room. Kara huffs. 

“Are you awake?”

Lena says nothing, simply lies still, tries to keep her breathing slow and even. 

Kara huffs again. 

“I have to be here and you’re not even awake,” the blonde mumbles. “Great. Or, maybe it’s for the best. I don’t know.”

There’s a minute or two of quiet, and Lena spends it willing everything she has for Kara to start talking again. 

“You left me, and yet I keep coming back.” Kara sighs. “No matter how much it hurts. You left me because it hurt you to see me risk my life over and over. But did you stop to think how much that hurt  _ me _ ? I’m dedicated to the people of this city, but Lena, you will  _ always _ be my everything.”

Lena tries to calm her racing heart, tries to still her shaking hands nestled under the sheets. 

“You’re it for me. I think that maybe I’ll spend the rest of my life in pain if it means staying involved in yours. Whether you like it or not. Like after- what I did. What you did.”

Kara chuckles, a sad sound, before sighing once more. Her voice is watery when she speaks again. 

“But whatever. I was too late this time, wasn’t I. I couldn’t protect you. I didn’t get to you in time, I wasn’t there to stop them from driving into you, trying to kill you, I- I  _ failed _ you, Lena.”

Lena feels a tear slide down her own cheek at the words. She doesn’t understand, can’t make sense of what Kara is talking about, but the pain in her words is  _ crushing _ Lena. 

Kara sighs. Lena hears the sound of hands hastily wiping cheeks. 

“God, remember what you said to me all those years ago, when we barely knew each other?” Kara says softly, so softly. “You said ‘Supergirl may have saved me-’”

Lena hears the crash of cars colliding. 

Then she hears the radio playing classical music, the piece too upbeat for her sour mood. 

Then she feels the rainwater under her heels as she walks to her car, and then she sees the white marble walls of her apartment building’s lobby, and then the inside of the elevator, and then her apartment, and then the text letting her know her car had arrived, and then, and then, and then-

It’s all in reverse. 

And then,

It  _ floods _ her. 

Starting life with a mother. Growing up with the Luthors. School. Chess. Lex. College. Collecting degree after degree after degree. Lillian. Lex again. Lex again and again and  _ again _ \- Luthor Corp. L.Corp. Loneliness. 

An encounter with Clark Kent, the blue eyes of the lovely, cardigan-wearing woman beside him, the connection upon hearing her simple agreement to Lena’s statement about family. 

A helicopter ride shot down by a drone, the blue eyes of her saviour, the calm and confident demeanor of her knight in shining red and blue.

_ And who are you exactly? _

_ I hope this isn’t the last time we talk.  _

_ I hope not either.  _

Coffee. Food. Drinks. On repeat. Friendship, building and building. Building  _ beyond _ , for Lena. 

And then, and then, torn apart. All of it. Hollow chest, bleak space, nothingness consumed by anger consumed by a drive to hurt. Bad choices made,  _ terrible _ choices.

A reunion, a lot of shouting, a lot of confusing emotions. 

Time with nothing. 

And then, time together. Tentative. Wary, but better over time. 

Eventually together a lot, like before. 

Then… revelations. Confessions. Then just  _ together _ . 

And then, then back to nothing. Poisonous words thrown from both sides, the gradual build of resentment and recklessness. Lena making a decision that cuts her to her own core, that cuts Kara too. Blue eyes shining with absolute heartbreak. 

Lena blinks her eyes open, finds Kara staring down into her lap. 

The words play again, a record skipped in Lena’s scratched mind. 

_ “God, remember what you said to me all those years ago, when we barely knew each other?” Kara said softly, so softly. “You said ‘Supergirl may have saved me-’” _

“But Kara Danvers,  _ you _ are my hero.”

Kara looks up in shock. 

There’s silence. Nothing is said. Lena just watches, and Kara eventually closes her mouth, eyes shining. 

“Lena?”

Lena swallows. Nods. 

“I still cannot believe you took that long to tell me you’re Supergirl.”

And Kara bursts out laughing. 

When it dies down and when all that’s left on Kara’s face is a mix of relief and apprehension, Lena props herself up on her elbows. 

“I love you.”

Kara’s jaw tightens. She looks away. 

“I know this doesn’t change anything,” Lena says softly, “but I’ve had a lot of time to think, and a lot of space, actually, seeing as… well, seeing as nothing but you was left in my brain.”

When Kara glances back up, she looks guarded. Lena continues. 

“And what I’ve thought about is you. Us. Everything we’ve shared. I know we have a lot to work on,” Kara swipes at her cheeks hastily as Lena sighs, “but that’s okay. I just want you to know that I love you. Still. Always will. And, and if you want to talk about what happened, about how we can move forward, I’d… I’d like that. I’d really, really like that.”

Kara looks conflicted. Lena reaches out and gently takes her hand. 

“I’m yours.”

Kara swallows hard. 

“You’re mine.” She whispers. 

“And you’re mine.” Lena says softly. “If you still want to be.”

They smile, quiet in the bright metallic room, pieces finally pieced together. Kara squeezes Lena’s fingers, and Lena sighs happily. 

“So. How about that scotch now? I bet Alex has a stash somewhere.”

And Kara laughs again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay if you read this and thought ‘wait I’ve read this before’ it’s because I wrote it for another fandom and then changed it a bunch for supercorp. SUE ME. This was sort of like a tester for me and writing for this fandom, so if you liked it let me know and I’ll totes write some og supercorp stories x 
> 
> @fixyfics on twitter!! and tumblr (idk how tumblr works anymore sorry in advance)


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